Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5,6
One of the hardest things for me is trying to understand things and life. I struggle with understanding and trusting God sometimes. It doesn’t come natural. So many times, I’d rather be able to completely understand a situation and fully define it. I like to have problems solved. I feel more comfortable that way.
That’s a human characteristic and part of our nature that dates way back. It is great to study and learn and try to figure out why and how things work. That’s what we do in science and all its fields. But there are some things we’ll never figure out.
When we lean on our own limited understanding, doubt starts to creep in. We can’t figure out the why’s and how’s and it causes us to struggle. Sometimes we worry and fret so much about figuring things out that we lose sight of where we are and where we’re going – we can’t find our way, it seems.
Following God means trusting Him. Trusting that He is in control. Trusting that He knows what we feel and what we think. Trusting that He is so much bigger than us.
I will be the first to admit I am terrible at waiting. (just ask my poor husband). Waiting on God and not leaning on my own understanding. This really made me stop and think. Do I rest in and trust Him completely, or do I hold back the things I would rather handle myself? Do I fail to seek His counsel or wait on His direction? All too often I know the humbling answer to those questions. I am thankful I was challenged to ask them again this week. I believe Proverbs 3:5-6 are verses to memorize. The difference that would make in my day.
So I plan on leaning on God and not leaning on my own understanding.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Healing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
God in His soft gentle way said to me, “As a child you were not safe, you were hurt.” He drew me into the reel to reel scenes as the movie projector played images of memories stored. God is taking me to the deepest darkest places of my heart to restore me as He whispered, “I have always loved you. Rest here and listen. You were never alone.” – pulling me closer to the stories like a flashlight in a darkened room.
Bringing light to the pain.... The pain and the secrets held deep inside the heart of a child and teenager. A heart hidden.
I’m beginning to realize I don’t have to understand my past or why pain had to happen or why children are abandoned and left on their own..... Why children are abused......Why children are not loved....
I heard a speaker one day say, “instead of writing off our past, or discounting it, we should authenticate the role it has played in our lives.” (Joyce Meyer)
I am learning that my God is a God who will heal my broken heart. He is trying to heal mine and if I give in and just allow him to....My life experiences have defined me and who I will become.
Because of my story: I can walk alongside wounded people and understand their pain.
Because of my story: I can be a child advocate and say I understand your sad and broken heart.
Because of my story: I can be a better mother.
Because of my story: I understand the tears of abandonment, abuse and broken spirits.
It is my choice whether or not to be angry or bitter by what I had to go through.
I understand now that my past has a purpose. Without the pain and the years of emptiness the story would be different and I would be different. I wouldn’t have a heart for the things above.
God is bringing me to a place of vulnerability and transparency to tell my story for it has not been an easy journey to open up and share.
I am becoming thankful God is taking my brokenness and is moving me into a place of beautiful healing.
I am learning when you suffer a soul piercing hurt there is no quick method of healing. It’s a journey with God and learning the strength required to heal is something much greater than I and must come from above. Not only is the journey itself a thing of beauty, but the way He uses that journey to bring Glory to Himself is beauty beyond words. Humble me God to share my brokenness to reveal something beautiful in someone else.
God in His soft gentle way said to me, “As a child you were not safe, you were hurt.” He drew me into the reel to reel scenes as the movie projector played images of memories stored. God is taking me to the deepest darkest places of my heart to restore me as He whispered, “I have always loved you. Rest here and listen. You were never alone.” – pulling me closer to the stories like a flashlight in a darkened room.
Bringing light to the pain.... The pain and the secrets held deep inside the heart of a child and teenager. A heart hidden.
I’m beginning to realize I don’t have to understand my past or why pain had to happen or why children are abandoned and left on their own..... Why children are abused......Why children are not loved....
I heard a speaker one day say, “instead of writing off our past, or discounting it, we should authenticate the role it has played in our lives.” (Joyce Meyer)
I am learning that my God is a God who will heal my broken heart. He is trying to heal mine and if I give in and just allow him to....My life experiences have defined me and who I will become.
Because of my story: I can walk alongside wounded people and understand their pain.
Because of my story: I can be a child advocate and say I understand your sad and broken heart.
Because of my story: I can be a better mother.
Because of my story: I understand the tears of abandonment, abuse and broken spirits.
It is my choice whether or not to be angry or bitter by what I had to go through.
I understand now that my past has a purpose. Without the pain and the years of emptiness the story would be different and I would be different. I wouldn’t have a heart for the things above.
God is bringing me to a place of vulnerability and transparency to tell my story for it has not been an easy journey to open up and share.
I am becoming thankful God is taking my brokenness and is moving me into a place of beautiful healing.
I am learning when you suffer a soul piercing hurt there is no quick method of healing. It’s a journey with God and learning the strength required to heal is something much greater than I and must come from above. Not only is the journey itself a thing of beauty, but the way He uses that journey to bring Glory to Himself is beauty beyond words. Humble me God to share my brokenness to reveal something beautiful in someone else.
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